Nunchaku Novice Pillows

Sticky Kung-fu

"First time pruning?"

Today we learned to count to one.

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

Please buzz off. That's my flower!

Bookstore. The Stock Market for Dummies. It's either an instructional guide or a history of recent economics.

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

"I'm surprised, Caswell. I thought you were a happy camper."

"I've been promoted from barbarian pillager to management. Do you know how to tie a neck tie?"

People who work-from-home, annual get together.

"This is my first book, but if I like it I may buy another in the near future."

'Alex we talked about this, you can't bring live things home from the lake. . . no buts, they don't want to leave the lake. Let your little friends go.'

'I take it this is your first big game hunt?!!'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

"Triple whammy."

Look, dork, I won't ask again. Will you help me use a computer? Maybe. What for? Internet Scrabble. I hear it is possible to play – what is the word? Online? I should like to send data over cyberspace. Through cyberspace.

"Still no offers - sometimes I think I'm the only one using this site."

"What's my collar size?"

'Our church funds seem to be in the computer cloud of unknowing.'

'You've never actually been on a tiger hunt...have you?'

After two years on zooms, Arthur was having trouble coping with face to face networking again. . .

'I'd join Twitter, but I'm worried I'll make a hash of it.'

"Yes! I'm THE Britney Spears... I was named 'Britney Spears' first so that makes me THE the."

Bad Violinist.

Stuff Broken

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

'You may well, Ms. Ferris, one day write a 'Fifty Shades of Grey' bonkbuster, but today your account is one shade of red.'

Carole Jean's First "Big Girl" Heels

I really hope the agent likes my submission... - '' - 'This is perfect.' - '' - 'Absolutley perfect.'

Zero interest CDs! Why pay taxes?

"Of course he's not our son. You wanted me to change the baby, didn't you?"

'Let's face it,Edgar.you and mother nature don't have anything in common.'

All dressed up and nowhere to hide.

"I've discovered I don't have a head for figures."