Numerology Gifts

Target setting: 'What about 38%, we haven't used 38% for a while.'

'I knew insects wouldn't take over the world...numbers will!'

A lowly numeral has delusions of grandeur.

"Every day in every way I'm getting gullibler and gullibler."

"Table for two, please."

'It's already taken.'

"I don't trust the new guy... there's something odd about him!"

'Next on the agenda...we need to discuss the club's inability to attract new members..."

Super *

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Holly's House of Feng Shui

"It's a numerology thing... I'm a one and we are a two."

"We're still working out the numerology for a name."

'Actually, you're not having a midlife crises. It's a .723 life crises.'

'Happy LXI birthday to you, happy LXI birthday...'

"He always worried that living at number 13 was unlucky, but it's just superstitious rubbish."

'Look, we have 7 and we have 5 . . . I make that 75 �' the number of your house!'

'Seven, that's your lucky number!? Boy, I really thought it would be some sort of fraction, or an integer that can only be expressed on the moon, or I don't know... something. I mean, SEVEN?!'

The number of the beast's next-door neighbour.

'Sure, I can prove I'm a psychic! Pick a number between one and three!'

Obvious problem.

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

The Life of Pi

"You're on a what?!"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'Maths is fun!'

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."