Numerals Gifts

"He never mastered Roman numerals, he thinks we had world war eleven!"

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Quick! We need a bigger chart in here!'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

'It was bound to happen - they're beginning to think like binary computers.'

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

"Until we get a bigger chart, we're estimating it's now about up to here."

'On the plus side we've saved money by getting all the numbers on one graph.'

'Simply put.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

'There are lies, damn lies, and statistics. We're looking for someone who can make all three of these work for us.'

Counting part time employees is the new math.

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'If 'x' is unknown, why should I rock the boat?'

Gone Bookkeepin'

'This would be a lot easier, Ms. Sims, if there were a little more margin for error.'

'It won't do you any good! You can't run from your math problems!'

"Dad, wouldn't my allowance be better off earning interest in a tax free municipal bond fund?"

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

'I tried everything to turn this around but if the cops ask, I was here in this room with you guys all week.'

"Make it Dow 30,000, and I'll sell you my soul."

Everything You Wanted to Know About Stats ...

Sister to brother: 'It's kind of like alphabet soup, only for numbers crunchers.'

I often thought that I should have been a weaver of words,someone who danced and sang his way into peoples souls and through my imagination led others into a world of dreams and intoxicating revelry...But auditing offered a much better pension.

'Well done! This works much better.'

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

'Every team needs a role player. And your role on this team, Bill, is to sit at that desk and crunch numbers.'

Investment analyst Renald P. is going to frighten the market.

'86.4% of people use phony statistics to get their point across.'

Professor Swizzlestix explains his point....

'I was up twice and got one hit, which gives me an lifetime average of 500!'

Financial Advisor. The next time you let your inner child out to play, don't let him play with your credit cards.