Number Newbie T-Shirts

'Today, in kindergarten, we learned how to count to one.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

'According to our statistics department, 78.93 of the statistics they produce are worthless.'

'If he knows so much about stocks and shares, how come he still has to work?'

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

"Do you promise to love, honour and contribute to the gross national product?"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"If i were to kiss you then there is a 17% probability that we might get married and that has a 24% likelihood that we'd have children with a 34% change of divorce...I'm not sure I can risk it."

Today we learned to count to one.

'1,2,3 4,5,6 7,8,9...'It's the little things that count.(little figurines counting).

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

BOOKSHOP, 'We're pushing our do-it-yourself kit today, sir -- a ream of paper and a dozen pencils.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Let's get married, Miss Harris, and have 2.8 children!"

'Scratch 3 and 5. 3's had a fight and 5's just going to live together instead.'

"Next time be more careful where you put the decimal point!"

Gloat

"Six out of ten statisticians prefer to be in the majority."

'According to our fact finding committee, our stock won't be worth a dime this quarter.'

Economy Slows: 'It's still too fast for me.'

Staff Yearbook

'The deficit doesn't look nearly so bad now that we've switched to Arabic numerals.'

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

But under a different accounting convention ...

Teacher: 'As an adult you'll probably only use a quarter of what you're taught at school - which brings us to fractions.'

An Everyday Explanation of the Federal Budget.

"Yo, this should be a two."

"The hardest to convert are inches to centimeters."

"Mine's bigger than yours."

Warning: Math Ahead!