Number Crunching Virtuoso Prints

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

City Redundancies - In? Out?

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Is that why our games of hide and seek are over so quickly?'

Pork Bellies.

What comes after a trillion

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

Rhinestone Accountant

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'It's true

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

'Well, well. You made thirteen hundred dollars more last year than you did the year before -- you people never learn, do you?'

Room for Error

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

"Workboy"

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

Hoping to soften its image, the IRS devises the singing audit-gram.

ACcountants Lunch

'No campaign contributions to deduct? -- Tsk, tsk, tsk....'

'Wow! You weren't exaggerating when you said your company had a high cash burn rate!'

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'There are few moments in business more exciting than the quarterly placing of the decimal point.'

'We have a problem!'

We try to be helpful, you can bring in the rest tomorrow.'

'As I'm sure you all remember, right here is when we all stopped caring!'

'I know that numbers do lie since I happen to work for the IRS.'

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'