Number Cruncher With A Sense Of Humor Prints

"He put the 'fun' in funding."

Hoping to soften its image, the IRS devises the singing audit-gram.

'You reached the Nervous Investor Fund's Hotline. The per share value is now 19.05, now 18.91, now...'

"Seriously, do you expect us to believe you put on 143 feet a day in business travel?"

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

Pork Bellies.

"We can't just pluck figures out of the air any more. . . We use a bucket."

What comes after a trillion

"I wonder if management will believe my project?"

"The accounting change that contributed most to the quarter was adding three zeros to the revenue number."

tax

'Come quickly, sir! - Accounting is having an ennui attack!'

Bertrand Russell

'We can't cut out the middle man. With the government in the picture now we are the middle man.'

'The idea of an artists' retreat is to get AWAY from business concerns, Mr. Harlow.'

'...or you could fill out this Form 666 and get a filing extension for all eternity.'

'It's true

Retrofitting Tax Loopholes Since 1968.

'Well, well. You made thirteen hundred dollars more last year than you did the year before -- you people never learn, do you?'

Congress introducing new tax laws to CPAs and businesses.

Room for Error

Lester crosses that very fine line separating cost accounting from performance art...

"Workboy"

'Did I say billions? I meant jillions.'

"In a perfect world, yes - but you can't claim taxes as a business loss."

ACcountants Lunch

'No campaign contributions to deduct? -- Tsk, tsk, tsk....'

"I see you're still fishing for that key piece of data."

'Wow! You weren't exaggerating when you said your company had a high cash burn rate!'

'There are few moments in business more exciting than the quarterly placing of the decimal point.'

'As I'm sure you all remember, right here is when we all stopped caring!'

'I know that numbers do lie since I happen to work for the IRS.'

We try to be helpful, you can bring in the rest tomorrow.'

'When you cook up a figure make it an odd number like £321.42, not £300.'

'We have a problem!'