Nuclear Themes T-Shirts

'Bugger!'

'Cannonball!'

Putin and Zelensky

Sailor in Car.

On the brink.

Fist Bumper Cars

"Just one more thump. . . just one more thump."

Emergency Phone.

'Maybe it should be funnier...'

Captain Hook getting his hook stuck in the rail, again

"Shred the plank."

'It's the pink spot, Jim lad - them rascals is going to try and tweak my nipples!'

Captain Corcoran, Commander of H.M.S. Pinafore

Cat scratches on a pirate's wooden leg.

Subwoofer

"As night falls, You return to claim what isn't yours. . . come at me, sea devil!!!"

'You don't need a colonoscopy, but I'm sending you for one because, quite frankly, I don't like you.'

'No Jake, I don't want to watch you do it again.'

Bob liked a challenge, and the shipwreck gave him something to get his teeth into.

"I'm referring you to an old gypsy woman."

Pirate captain: 'I'm so embarrassed! I walked around all day with my swash unbuckled!'

Hippie on the moon

'I know it's not around too much this season but I think I have swine flu!'

"Don't trust his tail—I know a scallywag when I see one."

'He runs this firm like a ship.'

"Quick! Hide the valuables."

"The captain says we have to stay up here until we stop acting so childish."

A castaway on an island with an old TV that's washed ashore, sees two men in an approaching boat marked, 'TV Licensing'.

"... And who asked for your opinion, I'd like to know?!"

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

'I wasn't expecting this when they said they wanted to settle out of court!!'

"After careful deliberation, I've decided I can no longer represent you as your lawyer in this case."

"But doctor...when I said I wanted to increase my breasts what I meant was..."

"Nope, not a dock! Not a diving board! Guess again!"

Captain Hook's lesser known brother - 'Captain Giant Foam Finger'.