Novocain Navigator T-Shirts

'We're testing a new drill-free laser system. YOu won't even need Novocain.'

'Are you sure that's the right map?'

'The church says the Earth is flat, but I know that it is round for I have seen the shadow on the Moon, and I have more faith in a shadow than in the Church.'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I think I've figured out why we can't find the marina."

'Are we there yet?'

'I want to forewarn you that my HMO won't approve any treatment that uses a needle.'

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"He was the one everyone called 'The Greatest.' Then one day, a stranger turned up in town."

'AHH, here it is! At the next intersection, turn left, then cough, following that, turn right, then cough...' WHEN DOCTORS NAVIGATE.

'So much for your new Satnav!'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

"I am not asking for directions."

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

Titanic: How's my steering.

'The dripping keeps me awake!'

Battery Lighthouse

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

'He refuses to leave without the tree and their son.'

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

'That's hydroplaning for ya.'

'I told you not to rely on the sat-nav.'

"For pity's sake, George - stop tooting and ask for directions!"

"According to the map, we should be nearing the North Pole, but something tells me we’ve been reading the map upside down."

'The landscape is continually shifting Son, so you have to learn to navigate by the Sun and the stars...'

"Yeah, I have a GPS, but I have no idea where 120 degrees longitude and 80 degrees latitude is."

"Perhaps you wouln't have declared so many places 'worth a detour' if you'd held the map right way up!"

Hospital Departments

'The good news is that it's not your fault.'

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"A storm rages from the East - tell the men to get below and snuggle up for movie night."

Meet the Shameless Self-Promoter 2 PM

"With the benefit of hindsight, I’d say no, Ed, it wasn’t ‘funny’ letting him steer the boat!"