Novelty Uniform Collector Pillows

Unrecorded History

Clown on bike.

Servicemen.

"Yes, I said bring me the king. . .But not that king."

"Wilson, I built this company from scratch!"

Hay Rides $10

"Recalculating route..."

Fossil record player.

My parents ate New York and all I got was this stupid t-shirt

The Slug Replaces the Cheetah as the Fastest Animal on Earth.

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"Thanks—I got it off Amazon."

A crab with a utility knife claw

'Wait! That's not one of your novelty slippers...that's the cat!'

The dress uniform of the Catering Corps

A salute of scouts

"The pea's the first vegetable I've ever grown. Can you stuff and mount it for me please?"

"I went with weirdness over quantity this year."

Tuck Shop

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Young Doctor, Young Nurse, Young Undertaker

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Lavatory Waterfall

'Each one is signed and numbered.'

"What do you mean, it's not an educational toy? I'd have to learn to ride it!"

"And when the extended warranty kicks in, we send you a big can of new car smell."

And this one i got for properly polishing my medals.

"I'm having second thoughts about those damn school uniforms."

A Rifle Competition in the North

'These new metal detectors are great!'

Who'd have guessed that the season's mast have item would be big springy shoes.

'And it comes with oven mitts, butter, sour cream and chives.'

How Fashion Works - 'You obviously haven't heard - the adults are wearing them narrow now,'