Novelty-seeking Novelist Prints

"That may not be the best option for printing out your novel."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

I should be a writer when I grow up...

For his next book, he would write an epic novel of the sea.

"When I grow up, I'm writing the Great American App."

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

"You're going to hate yourself."

"Meet The Author"

The DaVinci Code

"Russ had a novel published two hours ago and has a children's book coming out in 20 minutes."

"I was going to chuck it all and go to Paris but I didn't have enough frequent-flier miles."

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Reading my Critics

Something Wilted This Way Comes.

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Honoré de Balzac

'You're going to have to make some changes in your lifestyle.'

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

"No writers were harmed or mistreated in the preparation of this story."

Jean-Paul Sartre

'The C minus was sufficient. I didn't need the advice against hiring a literary agent.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

John Bunyan

"It turns out everyone here is self-published."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

"I know its hard to believe right now, Lawrence, but some day you'll thank me for asking you to punctuate your sentences correctly."

'I have a best selling novel on the tip of my tongue...'

"I try to write a little bit every day."