Novelty Nourisher Gifts

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

Raincloud Umbrella

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

'I'm into natural foods, Joe -- give me a martini with a soybean in it.'

Micro-Brewed Brain Beer

Clown riding unicycle exercise machine at health club.

'Beer? Wassat then?'

Chocolaterie Don Giovanni - Chocolate Footwear.

Martian restaurant and take away

In an alternate universe, characters from the rough draft and finished manuscript of the same novel meet themselves at a cocktail party.

Leon Uris.

2020 Panic Room

"If you kids want to grow up to be writers, it's time we give you something to write about."

Piano-Tuning Bar

'Great draft. It just needs a little exfoliation.'

"Space travel might seem routine to you Monkeys, but for me, it's the first time!"

'I don't care if it has lettuce, tomato, special sauce on a sesame bun...it's still liver!'

The jungle grill!

"Hit us with another couple of Banana Daiquiris, Lew. . It's a jungle out there!"

'All the nutritional benefits of regular worms without the hassle of having to get up early.'

It's the thought that counts: Totally useless gifts.

"Just water for me I'm the designated driver."

Young and old women wearing novelty hand-print t-shirts.

"This model has the market's lowest air drag quota!!"

TASTES LIKE... Bob's Buffalo Chicken

Health.

Jogging incentives.

'Stop staring at me!'

Seen Them All Mall!

"Do you have anything newer and more useless?"