Novelty Nosher Gifts

Culture clash

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Raincloud Umbrella

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Useless add-ons.

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"Of course it's alien abductions! How else would you explain the, 'November Phenomenon'?"

Cash Machines From Across the Land

Peel poker.

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Mohammad's motors

'Don't you think it's just a little weird to have a cemetery for houseplants?!'

"I'm still not sure if we've hired a creative genius or a complete cretin."

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.

Toenail clipping missile.

Goldie Locks and the three beers.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'