Novelty Nosher Gifts

Culture clash

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

"We found the poor thing stranded on the beach last summer and decided to adopt it."

"Don't worry about your purchase not working. Everything we sell here is totally non-functional."

King Henry and his Cheshire bride

"I warned you not to use that club...now look, you struck oil!"

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

Raincloud Umbrella

"Do you have any of those books that understand men?"

'What clan do you belong to?'

Crap from the future.

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Cloning Dept. Ooh! She's got your eyes and nose, mouth...

Clyde in his 'egg-beater.'

Useless add-ons.

A man is trying to play golf with a football boot attached to a stick.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Sorry, Frank, I know this is your favourite lake, but I just can't eat fish who smoke cigarettes.'

Mohammad's motors

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Pirate playing pool using his artificial leg as a pool stick.

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Toenail clipping missile.

'And a special feature on this model is the diet ice cubes.'

BOOKS ON VIDEO/BOOKS ON TAPE/READ YOUR OWN.

Clock and Watch Shop: Second-Hand Clocks and Minute-Hand Clocks.

Scrooge is visited by the ghost of prehistoric past.

A kid squirting gunk from an umbrella.