Novelty In Medicine T-Shirts

"We'll publish your book, doctor, but we'll have to get a second opinion."

"Our war is against cancer."

Dog Walking Services

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Turd - 'It's one of a kind.'

'I'm so bored - nothing ever happens around here!'

'You're a genius, Hoppy!'

Advocado

Hay Rides $10

'How's the gene-splicing going? Cloned any new hepatitis antibodies?'

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'It's nothing that a few stem cells and 75 years of research can't fix.'

'Sorry, staff shortage.'

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

The Woodstock Medical-Emergency Tent - 1994

'Veins...arteries...I told you I can never tell one from another.'

'I'd like to leave my pacemaker to the medical institute, my artificial lung to the research center, my false teeth to the dental clinic, my dacron arteries...'

'That's the diagnosis of my diagnostic desktop. If you want a second opinion, I'll ask my diagnostic tablet.'

"You've received a death sentence, Mr. Covid."

'Have you forgotten, dear, that you gave your heart to me in nineteen ninety one?'

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

"I hear he's taking an experimental drug called, 'It Ain't Over Till It's Over.'"

Ball Pool Peril

"Always with the cancer cures, this one."

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

Lyme Disease Research Lab

"I'm sorry, but the doctor no longer sees patients in person. But he does take e-mail from 9 to 3."

"36% of our focus group suffered from the side effects, while 14% enjoyed them."

'Now we'll have to explain it to the press. Remember - keep it superficial.'

"Fortunately I hold the patent for the gene that's causing the ringing in your ears, and I can refer you to the doctor who holds the patent for the gene that's causing the pain in your ears."

Businessman with novelty in and out baskets.

"Well the good news is that everything was supposed to be bad for you is actually good, but the bad news is that everything that you thought was good for you is actually bad."

Three Parent Baby