Novelty Gifter Gifts

"The shredder took care of the documents, but not my whistle-blower accountant."

Mum and baby both have pacifier.

'It's the chef's special. His wife just had a baby.'

Christmas in the Fish Bowl

"Can you make me look like Wolverine?"

'Half-baked beans, low fat variety' "Who says we have no taste?"

"This new phone app for opening the beer is great, Bruce!"

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

'No, I didn't know it was hunting season - why do you ask?'

"I knew we should have gotten the shorter tree."

'What kind of filling would you like?'

"I told you, Doctor! There's nothing in here!"

Family heirlooms that will never make it onto the mantelpiece.

Elton John

LOL. Larry Lee Oppenheimer is no fan of monogrammed underwear.

'Thanks mum, it's just what I always wanted!'

It became increasingly difficult for the captain to reward his crew and still maintain his ferocious reputation.

Captain Ahab (Ret.)

'Are you going exploring or retrieving a duck?'

Happy Bifurcation Day,

"The reason you're not popular is...well...you smell like shark repellant."

"Rats! It doesn't work...but why?? Why??!!"

"Fit watch say me need more steps."

"The Valentine's Day gift that has it all - a card made from edible flowers dipped in chocolate!"

Leaking backpack.

GARDU VIN! (BEWARE!). Clown sees several pies to beware of.

Cavewoman knitting with wool from mammoth

Drinking Hats

"He must like you. He wants you to share his whoopie cushion."

Builders bum

"Now be honest, does it make me look younger?"

101 uses of a dead cat: desk spike

Girl who has been bought an oversized chatelaine large household items hanging from it

When they're not flying, they walk around and play classic rock music. The strolling drones!

Snake accessories.