Novelties T-Shirts

Jurassic Pork

The end is near merchandise store

'Let me guess... Your kids bought you a new hunting cap for Father's Day, right?'

Powdered Water

"Just because we don't doesn't mean we can't."

Cash Machines From Across the Land

'Boy squeezing a spot at boy squirting silly string'

'Shoplifters will be tied up and whipped'

Chess board trap door.

Inflatable Hands with Index and Middle fingers showing on sale for spectators at a Sports Stadium Event

'It's a start, anyway.'

'Would you have anything with that design in a tubetop?'

Say it with flowers.

'Excuse me, have you paid for that?'

Nicoderm expands its product line.

Randy shows off his celebrity navel lint collection.

Toe-Tickling Machine

'Tell your mom you coughed it up and you're guaranteed a day off from school.'

'You let nine employees go home because they got 'sick to their stomaches'?! This is OUR PRODUCT, you idiot!'

Gumball cannon.

Castaway has turned desert island upside down. He says to another man: 'The tree wasn't giving enough shade, OK?'

Spontaneous Combustion Man - Open with care

'They say that Earl liked wearing those giant, foam cowboy hats down on earth,'

'In your wildest dreams!'

'Our founder.'

'Oooohh, my aching head...'

"Ooohh...my aching head...'

"To accompany a dish of Fire Ants, I would recommend a Chateau Condat 92..."

"X-ray glasses. They don't work."

"I'd like an exploding cigar and a Get Well card."

Novelties: It was the best of ties, it was the worst of ties.

"Look, Garn has invented entertainment."

Peel poker.

'Frank built it himself. The last football will fall through the hourglass 10 seconds before the Super Bowl starts.'

Last-Minute Gifts