Novel Plot Enthusiast Prints

'We find the defendant guilty, but feel his alibi would make a good premise for a John Grisham book.'

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

Television Readers.

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

My Literary Influences

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

'It'll never work. I'm reading 'Of Mice And men' and you haven't even gotten through 'If You Give A Mouse A Cookie,.'

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Editor.

'Is this your first book launch?'

'How about having at least one character who's alive and wearing clothes?'

Theodore Dreiser.

Voltaire

Book Lovers in Richmond