Novel Plot Enthusiast Mugs

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Nathaniel Hawthorne

"It's a heck of a tale...and well told, but we don't publish resumes."

Thomas Mann.

'To most people, 1984 is just a novel; around here it's our instruction manual.'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Television Readers.

Silence of the Chickens...

The First Draft. . . Moby Duck.

Characters jumping out of a book.

"Max! Oh, my God! There's like a billion moving ideas in there!"

'Stuck on a desert island, in the middle of the ocean, with only a palm tree for company, it's a bloody joke.'

Iris Murdoch

'Is that where you keep the banned books?'

Sign in book shop window: 'Critics agree the book is much better than the movie.'

"It's about sex and revenge, except for a short chapter on the Continental Congress."

"If I Can Make One Critic Smile..."

Evil elves trying to take advantage of Christmas tree fairies.

My Literary Influences

"Regarding the plot of your novel ... what on earth were you thinking?"

Book Shop Plot Spoilers

"There are those who write books to be read and other who write novels for bookshelves."

"Those are the failed attempts at my first novel."

"I'm not angry, but in the future I’d prefer it if you chewed up her Sue Graftons, not my P.G. Wodehouses."

Tolstoy and Dostoevsky plan a collaboration - 'War and Punishment'... it'll make us a bundle.

Editor.

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'Is this your first book launch?'

'Tommy's book reports are like no other.'

Voltaire

Library