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Books 'n' Carrots

"I assumed it was writer's block but as I've never written anything I could be wrong."

Samuel Schneckenreiter: Born 1939, Published 1959,1961, 1965,1972. . . Perished 2013.

'It's 700 pages. I just don't think I'm ready for that type of commitment.'

'So you want an advance on your writer's block?'

Books: Novels, Short-Stories, Tall Tales.

"I remember when the death of the hero meant the end of the sequels. Now it marks the beginning of the prequels."

'Thanks to the internet it is now possible to be extremely well-informed and completely wrong at the same time!'

Characters jumping out of a book.

"More rescue efforts, less screenplay."

Library - Political Science section - 'What to do until the spin doctor comes'

"Yes, Jane Lyons, sitting next to Katy Jones, class of 2018, it is important for a writer to know her audience."

'I'm not being punished! I'm reading because I happen to enjoy reading!'

"For just one monkey in front of one typewriter you've come up with some amazing stuff."

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"What your memoir really needs is an addiction."

The writers group met every Tuesday for support and fellowship.

"Well - I've either bought a pack of table napkins, or adopted a Siberian tiger cub..."

"I figure I have about 20 years of school to go."

Electronics: Nooks/Crannies

"That was too many fresh original voices for one night."

"This is an excellent story, Doris, so far."

Department of Nanotechnology

"I feel that I have at least one more unpublished novel in me."

'Is this your first book launch?'

"It's publish or perish, and he hasn't published."

A book reviewer reads between the margins.

"Who should we have at eye level this month?"

"...And I like how you switched from the first person narrative to third person—impressive." "Thanks."

Writer Services: We fix plot holes.

"It all happened so fast. 'Notable Book of the Year' to the remainder shelves to HERE in just six months!"

'Great job Zork, we're lost... you couldn't find Uranus with both hands and a flashlight!'

"I don't know what in blazes it means either, but just to be safe we'll put extra men on watch tonight."

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

"But you didn't say they had to make sense - you just told us to write a thousand words a day."