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Competitions.

Lost-Little Tabs of Paper

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

New music conference

'I'm a virtuoso on the middle pedal.'

'This one is for keeping 'On Message' in the spin wars.'

Newspaper suicide.

'I'm in the den, mom, reading the newspaper for my social studies class.'

"I'm not spinning - I'm contextualizing."

'We need to schedule a few impromptu meetings...'

Board of Directors enter the 'Tunnel of Corporate Love'.

"According to my phone, society is on the brink of collapse, but, according to our living room, things seem pretty O.K."

Fake News - Tabloid News - State-run News - Free Press

'Details of the summer fete can be found on our website. The address is on the notice board at the back of the church.'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

I'm in the den mom, reading the newspaper for social studies class.

Musical Bicycle.

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

'Yes, Dear, they are very pretty shoes!'

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Musical Note Nail

At the Goldilocks Music Store albums are labeled: 'Too Many Notes,' 'Too Few Notes,' 'Too loud,' 'Too Soft,' and 'Just Right.'

'Forget about 'who,what,when,where,why,how'...Instead 'Will it sell papers...attract advertisers?'

"According to the most recent report, we have no recourse but to abandon ship."

Musician's Fishing Trip

'A friendly reminder, Mr. Parker: There's only room for one long, raucous, 'what-a-stupid-question' laugh in this company, and it's not yours.'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.

Man reading on top of giant pencil being carried by others.

'We may be bankrupt, but we're not broke.'

"You know our 'Never-Overwhelm-The-Reader' policy. Your story is irrelevant, trivial and stupid but not irrelevant, trivial and stupid enough."

"Oh shut up."

Information, Clarification, and Correction.

'And this is Paul, who writes our 'Voice of Sanity' column.'

'I know people who know people who can't do a damn thing for me.'

First violinist has an 'MVP' sign on his chair