Note Scribbler Prints

"Careful - it's full of lies."

Musical Prodigy

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

The New Fundamentals of Art: 'We'll begin with the most basic figure, the trademark attorney...'

"How about we write a song combining Brexit with unrequited love?"

When Cells Divide

Replacement Bus Spotters.

'Anorak anoraks'.

'Ms. Snack, prepare the conference room for an executive sting.'

"Your editor called again to see if the well was still dry."

Writer: Humour and Tragedy.

'If you don't learn how to sign your name, you'll have to pay cash!'

'Don't write on that wall with crayons! It'll show up better on that wall over there.'

"The trouble with spelling rules is that they impede creativity."

'Ms. Shelby, I think you're spinning out of control.'

'Tax.'

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Bird Watching with Binoculars

"Where do you get your derivative ideas?"

"It's been done, but I don't think it's been redone."

'After three years of writer's block, I began writing about writer's block.'

Hans Holbein

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Will Self deprecation

How to create a brilliant cartoon

Modern Nursery Rhymes

'I have a case of...oh, heck. What's that called?'

'I remember my pin but I've forgotten my signature!'

"This is a selection from my novel about a writers' group that has one real writer and five wanna-be b*****s."

Writer’s Corner

"Is this the wobbly table? I'll put my screenplay under this leg."

Astrophysics made simple.

"Would it hurt you to take two minutes from writing code to write your grandmother?"