Nostalgic Minds Pillows

'That's funny - the computer said we had mail..'

"It only goes forwards and backwards. So, you won't need a GPS."

Gene Wilder as Willy Wonka

Ten Plagues for Today's Seder

Toy Shops and Educated Children

'I used to spring forward. Now all I can do is fall back.'

Letter Collecting Nerd

Kindergarten. Today; Simon Says. I don't know who this "Simon Says" is, but he could make a killing in product endorsements!

"Trump vs Biden. Chiefs vs 49ers. On the brink of war with Iran. Didn't we do this all in 2020?"

I love you.

Man, Lemont … how long's it been? Twenty years? Just about. You still working at Pigville Pork Burgers? Nah … I got a job as the Candorville Chronicles White House correspondent. Then I went on to found Candorville.com, the internet's seventh largest source for news and opinion. Oh. That's cool. That's cool. How do you not know this? We're Facebook friends. I post links to my articles every day. We were roommates all through college, and you don't even read my updates? Facebook's for reading yo

"The children took off their own coats this morning, Pastor."

"We used to entertain a great deal."

"We haven't danced in ages."

If bar stools were like playground swings...

Wizard of Oz - repeat fees

"Sitting on a beanbag doesn't take me back to the seventies- it just makes me wonder how I'm ever going to get up again."

How Grandma Sees the Remote

"Back in my day, kids had a little respect for the law of gravity."

'Call Me Old-Fashioned, But I Liked It Better When They Didn't Shave Their Armpits.'

'Wow, they don't make trees like they used to.'

'Economic indicators are down, but cheer up! The history revisionists will turn this into 'the good old days'...'

"I've had. . . um. . . just a small sherry. . ."

"I do wish Henry could run into someone from the dress business to talk to."

Green Balloon

'They were going to get married when they were young, but he kept forgetting the wedding date!'

'Remember the good old days when the research department consisted of some studious types with a stack of annual reports?'

The Piano Dreams Of Home

'Sir, we need to upgrade our technology. We've used up our last roll of ticker tape.'

"Listen up and listen up good, 'cause I'm only going to say this a million times."

"That's where the tenured faculty members hang out."

"I enjoy books a lot more now that I can consistently color inside the lines."

'Do you feel as foolish as I do, having a conference with Billy's teaching machine?'

The Beatles - Flabby Road

"Who had pink eyes, long ears, a cute little cotton tail and brings baskets of eggs on Easter morning?"