Nostalgic Dreamer Gifts

Lawrence of Suburbia

"Ah, to be young again."

'And then Dorothy remembered she was colorblind'

'Just sayin' it was a lot more relaxing around here before they invented ‘the Cloud.''

'Hello, Mom. Remember dressing me on my first day of school? Could you run me through that again?'

Work Doh

"It's cash. It's kind of like a debit card."

"I fondly remember the time before the money ran out."

'This call may be monitored for quality assurance.'

James couldn't figure out why Superman never got teased.

The end of innocence

"Yes, my nose did guide Santa's sleigh on that foggy night, but more significantly, it was great for reading under the blankets at night when I was young!"

Winnie Hits Pooberty

Ex-hippie-now-staunch-Republican Herb Miller's freak flag keeps on flying, much to his chagrin.

"All those movie stars in the olden days, puffing away, where are they now, young man?"

"...Then, Baby Bear said, 'Look someone's eaten my happy meal and they've even taken the free toy!"

"Frank likes the Happy News show on the Nostalgia Channel. It plays fake news reels of the Good Old Days."

"I used to let down my hair. But since I've gone wireless, I just use all my old wires."

60s vs. over-60s

Gene Tierney caricature

"When I was about five, I pretended my teddy bear was my boyfriend. . . after the guys I've dated here, I think teddy was a better choice!"

You can fly!

"Remember when it used to be all trees? Now look at it. Nests everywhere."

"Ashes to ashes, stardust to stardust..."

Actually I was hoping to meet a knight in shining armour.

'Remember when we used to play leapfrog?'

"Thanks... I'll call you sometime."

'We all make mistakes, Honey. That's why pencils have erasers.'

'The grass may be greener on the other side but I'm danged if we could ever climb the fence, Alf!'

'The heart's no problem, but you've got no chance with the xbox 360!'

'When I grow up, Grandpa, I want to be just like you...retired!'

Analog Alzheimer - Digital Dementia

It's a beautiful thing, watching your children grow into mature, responsible adults...

'When I think of all the homework my dog ate, I can hardly believe that I'm sitting at this desk.'

'Of course I don't mind you going out to fulfil a boyhood dream, Joe. Just as long as it doesn't involve Dolly Parton.'