Nostalgia For Routines T-Shirts

"I kind of miss that morning newspaper you used to hold in front of your face."

'Twenty years ago I began jogging five miles a day - could you tell me where I am?'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'I almost get out the door and then my mom yells...'Don't you know it's February?!' And here I am again...looking like an eskimo.'

The GODFATHER Ride 25¢

'I'm being punished. Nothing even remotely electronic for two weeks.'

"I'd like to see you every Tuesday, forever."

"No matter the weather or what's on my plate, I'm here at five. That's discipline."

"You've become very predictable, Jack - home every night!"

'My husband does everything religiously except going to church.'

Geriatrics clinic: 'Wine, women and song, Doc! But not swashbuckling too!'

'And now for the (Yawn!) morning report....'

Clock in, Clock out.

"I love you, Ethan, bit I floss alone."

"He misses his commute ."

"I don't want a New Year, I want a comfortable, familiar, used year."

'Our dog's been dead two years but he can't break the habit!'

'Miss Wayson, find out who put this computer on my desk and tell them to get it the hell out of here!'

Old man dusting bodybuilding trophies.

'Remind me again darling - what were we just arguing about?'

"Well, come to think of it, we are creatures of habit: Always migrating to the same place and stopping at the same spots on the way..."

Plain ol' me.

"Reggie is retired, but he still goes to work to play the office sports pool."

Mountaineers milk.

"Sundays we like to walk around being insufferable about our routine."

Are we a bunch of losers? Who are you talking about? Me, Randy, Sadie, even you Uncle Mort – all of us cafe regulars. We've been hanging out at this place for years. I've been working here two decades. Do we have nowhere else to go? More powerful even than inertia: Any momentum killed by an uncompromising nap regimen. Zzzz.

Church in the year 2035.

"We're out of chrysanthemum." "I ordered chrysanthemum tea. This is not chrysanthemum tea. This is chamomile." "I've had a chrysanthemum tea every day for the last 80 years, and I'm still alive and well." "Are you trying to kill me?" "Are all old folks this superstitious?" "Superstition's always worked in the past."

"Sir, are you sure you don't want to try anything else besides the fish for once?"

"It doesn't get any more low-maintenance than this!"

"The way I see it, we lived like pigs in the eighties and, with any luck we'll continue to live like pigs throughout the nineties."

To Do List: Wake Up/Smell the Coffee/Drink the Coffee/Now What?

'I'm home from a mind-numbing day at the office, ready to watch some mind-numbing TV.'

"I think I've taken my morning routine too far."

Things-could-be-worse-go-round