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"Pete's an old school copper, arrest first and ask questions later."

"Lassie, go get help!" "Oh Timmy you idiot! Not again!"

'The History Channel is all reruns.'

"In high school, I was quite the star in metal shop."

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

"These are the very weapons your mother and I used in our famous duel."

"I'm going to talk about the summer before last, it was much more fun."

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

'This is the only part of my old Army uniform that still fits.'

"String ... you mean it doesn't have a remote controller to operate it?"

'Dewey! Grandpa's stuck again. Give him a couple of whacks upside the head.'

'It's one of Larry King's earliest shows.'

"Honey! Where are my lucky Incredible Hulk board meeting socks?!?"

"Oh to be young and in love and wear things cut on the bias."

"In the old days, we had to constantly feed the screensaver."

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"We're airship people, not mega-airship people."

"We made all the wheels out of old coffee tables and chandeliers."

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

Before the Internet

'It's one of these new phones that takes photographs.'

'I'm just not as ambidextrous as I used to be.'

"I made you a mixtape."

"Pardon me, Vito, but I'm holding the talking stick now."

"In my life, I've had seven cars, six jobs, five houses, four bypass operations, and three wives!"

'Take my tip,sonny and say it with jelly babies.'

"I remember him before he was getting hte winter fuel allowance."

'Bring out yer books!'

'I don't care what the Hares have. Dial-Up is good enough for us!'

"The following film has been formatted to fir the screen of the newer and more expensive television set."

'When I was young, I said I'd make it big or know the reason why - Well, I sure know the reason why!'