Nose Injury Survivor Pillows

"Remember, Nanook, no kissing for a couple of days."

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Barbeque Casualty.

Gary turns 40.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

'You've got a broken finger.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

Sling

Traffic Jam.

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I have bad knees."

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

First Shot Discus Thrower

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

Impenetrable plaster cast.

"Oops."