Nose Injury Survivor Pillows

"Remember, Nanook, no kissing for a couple of days."

Gary turns 40.

Piano and Pianist with broken legs.

Barbeque Casualty.

"Sorry, but there aren't enough life jackets to go around."

"I'm thinking considerably longer. How about you, Alan?"

Sporting maladies.

"I see you do all your own stunts."

In case of stock market crash break glass.

'These pajamas come with a flak jacket sewn into the lining to protect against the 'Stop Snoring' elbow in the ribs.'

Warning: Cathartic manifestations of childhood trauma next 5 miles

'You've got a broken finger.'

'Bloody plaster of Paris.'

"I got knocked down while jogging in heavy traffic."

Sling

"Reduce my ears? No, I want to make my nose bigger!"

"You will be pleased to know that the children said sorry!"

"I have bad knees."

Traffic Jam.

"I tweeted yesterday. 'Sleep with your windows open'. It was liked and shared by 2000 mosquitos."

Plastic Surgeon Kid

'It's an old baseball injury.'

'I'll soon have you in stitches but it's no laughing matter.'

'I'll be able to play the piano in 2 days? Well I couldn't before the accident!'

'I said he could sleep with me... well... he's asleep.'

'Now she's frightened of your snoring...'

"Yes, you were snoring again."

"Our marriage will last a whole lot longer if you move and breathe minimally."

"You owe your life to that dog. He pulled you to safety. Unfortunately, there's still no sign of the dog ??" or your arm."

'Well, good morning Mr. Daniel, have a seat in our waiting room.'

First Shot Discus Thrower

"Childhood nicknames and pinched cheeks...I knew there was a reason I didn't like family gatherings."

Plastic surgeon's here.

Pinocchio finally takes the plunge.

"Oops."