Northeast Native Gifts

A guide to seasons in the North East

"This isn't exactly what I had in mind when I told you to go outside and play."

"Let me just check my email, my texts, my missed calls, Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, WhatsApp, my credit score, my horoscope, the results of this latest personality test, the S. & P., the Dow, the news, this article about cute dogs, and the weather, and then we can go."

"Couldn't you have just laughed instead of spelling 'LOL' in your alphabet soup?"

I'm allergic to parrots, so I got an aaaarrrrdvark.

Olivia just hacked into the boy scouts' site and sold them 30,000 boxes of cookies.

This is a 'text book' it's a bit like a website but printed on paper.

"...and before you embark upon life's journey, could one of you help me with my laptop?"

When laundry ruled the waves.

Wifi in Hell

The Dubloon Stops Here

"No, I really thought each sentence ended with an emoji!"

#Whyneighborsdon'tknowtheirneighbors

"I can't find my other boot. I need to be rebooted."

In a cycle - one bucket out, one bucket in.

"Listen to this: 'Technology reduces the time we spend on a given task, but increases the number of tasks we're expected to do.' Sounds like a no-win situation to me!"

"Aah! Bless! Look at him on his I-pad!"

Bird Tweet.

Digital Fomo!

"And to my nephew, Todd, I leave my 27 Twitter followers."

"It's so cute when the boss brings his son to work and pretends to let him help out!"

'The school computers are six months old. How can I be expected to be competitive in the job market if I'm trained on obsolete equipment?'

"Lazy? I've been social-networking my ass off."

'Good night, Dear. Text me if you need anything.'

"I got a swiss army hook!"

'You say the ARKS are NOT two by two?'

"I'd like to TikTok your offer and get comments before saying yes or no."

'This is Onstar, how may I help you?'

"Sorry, but I don't know how to tie a Reef Knot. Give me a simple project, like building a computer."

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

Trick or Tweet

Columbus Discovers that when Exploring, It's Not Such A Great idea to Bring The Family Along.

'New Game'

'After we learn the alphabet, are we going to learn how to text?'

"My Blackberry will get in touch with your Blackberry."