North Pole Dreamer Pillows

"You believed you were above everyone else, and deserved to look down on others. This is a clear case of shelf-elf-filling prophecy."

"All it will do is move crime to the South Pole."

Full Serve/Elf Serve

"For the last time, Dad, I don't want to be a dentist! I want to make toys like the other elves."

"It's just temporary, Comet, until Rudolph feels better."

Santa Clause answers Girl's Phone Call

He's just been told that due to increased infrastructural costs we're being relaocated to Swindon.

'Actually, I don't know how much I pay the elves - Mrs. Santa handles all the financial stuff.'

North Pole

"He must be a South Pole elf..."

A woman floats in the pool under the shade of an airplane

Santa's Helpers

North Pole twinned with Amazon

'I don't get it. They told me to serve merlot at room temperature.'

"How long have you felt like a three-masted schooner?"

Fishy tail.

Running out of Gas.

'You've got the flying reindeer, elves, and a cheery laugh - have you ever considered being Santa?'

"My new book will be an epic novel of the sea."

“I’ve always wanted to learn to swim, but it’s never been more than thirty minutes since my last meal.”

Man tried to unload a ship in a bottle.

Man in boat sees clock rising in distance instead of the sun.

"We live in the desert. What did you think I meant when I said it'd be a nice day to go boating?"

'If you don't stop thinking about that waitress, I'm leaving!'

Night of the Living Reindeer

'If we could just sink Noah's Ark, think of the variety of food we could sample...'

Desert island survivor won't go home to Canada

'If it's the last thing I do I'm gonna buy you one of these.'

'And not a white one among 'em, Cap'n...'

'Isn't it how you learnt to swim?'

Ship's cook escaping in a saucepan.

"You've been saying we're getting an inground pool since we got married, and I gave up."

Waiting for the fleet to come in.

"Damn! - Someone's beaten me to it..!"

"You don't understand women. First you buy them flowers, then you ask for the boat."