Nonviolent Leader Gifts

Martin Luther King Jr

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Oh, ah, sorry!"

'Enlightenment isn't EITHER overrated!'

"Home depot."

A daily rubdown with a beard brush will wrangle awkward bristles and train them downwards...

'Truth is fine, but I really need marketable ideas.'

Priest

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

"Reverend, I recommend you turn the other cheek."

'Are you sure You can be objective? -After all, You did CREATE them.'

"I've heard great things about your church. Thought I would visit and say keep up the good work."

Guru.

"I'm going on a retreat."

'Meaning of life? You bet! Here, pull my finger.'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'Do you ever just feel like getting AWAY from it all?'

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

How's my enlightenment? Call 1-800-Nirvana.

Guru about mountaintop covering: 'My wife knitted it.'

'Enlightenment-shmenlightenment - what I'm worried about is tenure!'

"Amen. Thanks everyone, oh and don't forget to subscribe!"

'It's the boss! Everyone look mellow!'

"To mediate properly, you need a mantra. How about 'Ka-Ching'?"

"They always fall for the old 'high-impact yoga' trick!"

Down With Wikipedia

"I cried because I had no shoes, till I met a man who had athlete's foot."

"Hello Mr. Wibley. I haven't seen you in church lately!"

"I've learned one thing: when an avalanche begins, get into the cave."

OM, SWEET OM

'Is there something bothering you, besides sin, crime, hunger, that sort of thing?'

Chill Out Worshippers!

'You use HERBS to help you levitate? - How does THAT work?'

'I understand the Adirondacks are where it's REALLY happening.'