Nonchalance Admirer Pillows

"Sure, Liz, come on up for a drink! And don't mind the place—it's a bit of a crime scene right now."

"What did you say about the health of my gut biome?"

Skiing.

"The weatherman said dress for the mid 70's. Bob was elated." "Much. Too. Sexy."

"We're following Carrot Top."

Snow flake

"Early model of baggage claim"

it my imagination or is it getting warmer?"

"Koalas when no one's looking"

Punk Reindeer

"Drop everything, Dominic. I need you to proof this for blasphemy."

Yo ho ho!

"Cat-astrophic Trifecta" "I pooped in Mona's Jimmy Choo handbag." "I knocked over grampa's ashes." "I buried a Barbie in the litter box."

"Your remote control, sire."

Snapshots in Time

'Great! The world ended and I slept right through it!'

"Oooh... bacon!"

"The kids are growing up so fast."

"That guys is stealing my data!"

There's a lot of crying out there! Looks like we were gnawing on the internet cable...

Hairstyles

"Any chance you could do it at a higher resolution?"

'A penny saved is another thing for you to knock off the dresser.'

"I didn't say he was 'house broken' I said he was a 'house breaker'"

"This is your captain speaking."

Not that one. It's got the chips in it.

"... And here we see some tourists trapped behind the glass."

Pavlov Throws Out The Anomaly

Robert the Brucie.

Zombie Christmas

"Hey everyone, it's day three and I'm still going strong."

'It's a rock made of plastic.'

"I've learned not to worry."