Non-techie's Guide Pillows

Computer basics for non-geeks: MOUSE PAD.

Man runs into Bigfoot taking a selfie.

Highlights From The Annual Central Park Country Fair

"They lead a simple life - they don't even put gas in their cars."

"I have no feelings about having no feelings."

"People will pay anything to get away from it all. These babies don't even have WiFi on them."

"Here's the remote to your smart home. It's big, but the good news is you'll never lose it."

'Oh, relax. Stopping to ask how to use the GPS does not violate the male decree against asking directions.'

'I can't work with computers, on account of my animal magnetism.'

"There's no phones, social media, selfies, reality TV, online trolls, political-correctness or fake news."

'My dad just invented the wheel!'

"Let's bury the TV remote and all the cell phones, then sit back and watch what happens."

"What I like about booze is that it's so low tech."

The Daily Planet: The Newspaper that listen to you.

"I promise that this will be the last time that Daddy will ask you to help him post his resume online."

"I wonder what our clients are doing out there."

I've got no cell phone, no computer, no grumbling wife, no stupid boss. Feel free to envy me.

Great Moments in Chess

'Darling, I've just deleted the computer,'

"OK Zoomer!"

'The main thing I like about this place is the complete absence of technology.'

'Sorry. . . no jobs for lo-technicians.'

'We used to be a nuclear family...now we're cellular.'

The 2020 Black Friday

"You know how it is. Some days you like to drive, some days you like to be driven."

'Green technology?'

"It happens every time we get a new piece of equipment...He won't invest the time to study the instructions and it ends in disaster."

Ruth and her new cordless telephone.

"This secret memo I'm typing needs to be encrypted. How do I turn off spell check?"

"I've just ordered a chicken and an egg online...I wonder what'll come first...?"

'In our day, we had to squeeze rubber balls on horns with our mouths to hear music.'

'In my day, we were not microchipped: We were branded!'