Noise Pillows

'They'll be talking about that for years!'

'The neighbors don't care how you commute, but they're beginning to complain about the noise.'

'Normally, I enjoy a morning when the birds are singing.'

Never use an electric can opener if you live next door to a cat lady.

"Guys, can you use your Mommy-doesn't-want-to-know-I-exist voices?"

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

'No! No more harps! I can't take it anymore.'

Future garbage truck driver.

Fish that snore, and the tragic lives of those who care.

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

Noisy energy?

"We tried 'Baby Mozart,' but he prefers 'Baby John Cage.'"

Bagpipes in the bath.

'He likes a room where he can reverberate.'

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

"The subwoofers really help."

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Things that go beep in the night.

"Our open-space office really stimulates information sharing when everyone removes their noise-cancelling headphones."

'Teenage Beethoven.'

Wake the eff up with the official New York City alarm clock. Choose your distress signal: car horns, sirens, barking, heat pipes, mouse feet. Guaranteed to disturb!

"I've had a sore throat ever since we moved near the airport!"

People bell ringing - 'RING TONES'

'Look, honey, the baby's got your mouth.'

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"I'd know my tinnitus anywhere and this isn't it."

"Thank you."

"Why haven't noise cancelling headphones been invented yet?"

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

'I don't care if you whistle while you work, but others find it disconcerting.'

I'm beginning to regret the hearing aids.