Noise-sensitive Strategist T-Shirts

"Don't feel bad Rex: desperate measures for desperate times! That new trumpet of Young Master had to disappear..."

"Sorry, the sound of your chewing sends me into a rage."

"Why so aloof in here? When you're on base, you yak your ass off with every Yankee in sight."

'Oh, I HATE IT when he does that thing with his mouth...TALKING!'

'No, Bob, I haven't noticed you haven't spoken to me in 3 days... I just thought we were getting along.'

'It's a silent protest.'

Businessman at the deep end.

". . . and that dumb Mrs. Parker could have figured I had the Ace, King and Jack, but no, she goes ahead bidding in hearts. . ."

What's your exit strategy?

"Alice, please! You're a practice teacher! At some point I have to leave you alone with them!"

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

"What the?! They're installing a wind-chime in our tree! I can't stand the things: we have to move!"

"Why are you playing hide-and-seek in the stove!?! Don't shush me! This is my stove!"

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

"If he could put a horse up his sleeve, he'd probably win at that too."

'He's busy right now, sweating out a risky trade. Can he call you back?'

The Land of the Uncomfortable Pause

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

Bob worked hard to avoid the spotlight.

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

'I thought you were playing hide and seek with Grandma!'

Wii Childbirth

'Sure, it's nice of the farmer to leave us to graze freely in the mountains, but this darn bell is driving me crazy...'

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

Ear Plugs for Aliens.

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

'Your financial statements indicate to my trained eye that your tolerance for risk is low.'

'I totally understand your extreme risk-aversion. Now hand over your mattress and let's slip into some comfy corporate bonds.'

"At the next board meeting maybe you'll just be quiet."

"Light's green."

"Attention, everyone! I have a very important Zoom meeting in a few minutes so I need this city to be completely quiet."

"Judging by the belt and suspenders, I sense you're a risk averse investor."

'This is a banking style investment casino.'

Noisy Neighbours

Chess cheerleaders jump up and down but don't make any noise.