Noise-sensitive Chef T-Shirts

'Do you have a silent can opener? I have 3 dogs who pile all over me.'

"Our cook is new, so ge's Googling what goes on a bacon, lettuce and tomato sandwich as we speak."

'Does this thing get channel four.'

'Their daughter plays the violin.'

"You need to turn down the vibration setting on your cell phone."

Microwave confusion.

'..and one for the pot.'

'I can't make dinner right now - I'm installing new software.'

'The vast potential of stem cells...and we use them to make a hamburger!'

'Quiet with your crisps please, I can't hear the film.'

'Police. We have reason to believe you've been hacking into your neighbor's computers and stealing their recipes.'

"Jordan takes his wife's wind chimes – he shoots!"

Frittering a Banana by Electricity.

"I'm going to do some gardening.Have you seen my ear protectors?"

'Peace is at hand! - I just signed the Bagpipe Limitation Treaty!'

'Come now, Mr Symes. I am a Master Chef. I'll admit the steaks are high. But then so are the rewards.'

Cook and PC

"Have you decided what household object you're hiding under this July 4th?"

Ear Plugs for Aliens.

Egg farm for sale: 'All that clucking and cackling is driving the owner nuts!'

'Sure, it's nice of the farmer to leave us to graze freely in the mountains, but this darn bell is driving me crazy...'

"You're the only man I know who can clean a filthy cooker with two slices of bread."

"I look forward to coming here for great tasting coffee. Every morning. . . but you are talking so loud I can't even smell it!"

'We'll have to eat out tonight - I misplaced a decimal point in the cookbook.'

'Why don't you use a leaf blower? It annoys the hell out of people.'

"There's a huge crowd of people on the lawn demanding that you stop snoring!"

Noisy Neighbours

"Don't feel bad Rex: desperate measures for desperate times! That new trumpet of Young Master had to disappear..."

silence please

'Someone hacked into my food files and added chocolate chips to each recipe. Do you know anything about that?'

"Don't you find the ringing of one's mobile phone most annoyingly irritating, Terence, my good fellow?"

"Excuse me for wanting to broaden our culinary horizons."

Thanks to the new recipe app, everybody can cook a gourmet meal.

Gone To Hospital.