Noise Makers Pillows

'...call me 'Noisy Ted'.'

'This is just a test! This is just a test!'

Devils in hell bang on the ceiling as the angels upstairs are being too noisy.

"It was all of them? Are you sure it wasn't just one who played the offensive music, ma'am?

Boom Box

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"He also barks, meows and makes noises like a hamster."

'Yes! The momentum's going to shift now. Our home fan is starting to make some noise!'

"Our Rupert has swopped his gaming console for bagpipes...it gets us out of the house more often."

"It is now that moment when a close family member tries to speak of the deceased without choking up."

Mum has a bad judgement day - Well OK, you can take it to your room as long as you play it quietly.

Bagpipes in the bath.

"Our kids may like your giant soundbar, but the neighbors seem to have a different opinion."

'Thank goodness for clumsy children: A spilt ice-cream!'

he used to belong to a cartoonist

'Teenage Beethoven.'

Fat Kid 31- Pet slug runs amok

'When does the improvement phase of this home improvement project begin?'

"Can I help it if dirt is attracted to me?"

French Animal Noises.

"Darren Eggleston. I saw that!"

"Thank you."

'I appreciate you enthusiasm...but please stop doing the Wave.'

''Big Society'...paradigm shift blah! Blah! Community spirit, neighbourhood cohesion, blah! Blah! Social inputs, perceptual platforms blah! Blah!'

'I want to thank my biological and surrogate Mother, my two Dads.. .'

Starfish doing the wave.

"You'll really like this next song. I wrote it specifically to be a ring tone!"

'This next one I wrote myself. It's about pain, misery and heartbreak, until I finally wised up and dumped him.'

'What are you going to be when you grow up. . . if the neighbours let you?'

'Don't worry about the dishes. I did them.'

'Yo, Danny! The pitcher's complaining about the crowd noise. Turn it down!'

Yeah, I'm standing here alone yelling a bunch of nonsense. If I had a cell phone, you wouldn't bother me!

"Primal scream therapy drawbacks."

'I offer a service to combat your employees' afternoon drowsiness.'

Glasses half full, half empty, half assed.