Noir Nostalgia Gifts

"This 'digital revolution' - can we muscle in on that?"

"Say dollface, what brings you to a joint like this?"

'Wow, this guy's unpopular...'

"I've got a bad feeling about this."

Inside One's Memory Bank

The Philip Marlow family

"I dreamt we got a 'sorry you were out' card."

'That's a picture of my granddad with shoulder length hair and a beard. That's why mom calls these albums hair looms.'

Football Crazy strip six

'Okay everybody, SMILE!'

'Early Laptops.'

"It was Saturday night. The clock on my office wall showed the time to be eleven-forty-five. There are times when a private eye does not necessarily feel like being a private eye. This was one of those times. The elevator door down the hall clanked open with a clank familiar to anyone on the fourth floor who had had an office on the fourth floor for as long as I had had an office on the fourth floor. Footsteps came down the darkened hall and stopped outside my door. They were the footsteps of a

'So what have you been up to?'

'When I was told our new computer was going to be state of the art, no one mentioned it was state of the art in 1954.'

"Damn it—I told them I was too well known for undercover work!"

'Business was slow, slower than a fat tortoise with a limp. The phone hadn't rung for so long I thought it must be out of order. The new competition was good, very good. Who was this 'Google' guy?'

Robert Mitchum

Diary of a DNA Cop

"Marlowe filled the crooked gumshoe full of lead. He watched the smoke from his .38 coil in the air as he… mommy’s behind me, isn’t she?"

"He's our back-up if our computers fail."

It's hammerhead time

'I told you. . . H not S!'

"It's not that we had more fun before we got married --- it's just that now we're having a different kind of fun."

Jurassic park on the ZX Spectrum.

Postmodernist Pat, "the advent of 'electronic mail' has of course transcended the traditional 'sender-purveyor-receiver' relationship"

'You know, sometimes I find it pretty hard to imagine these will be the ‘good old days.''

It's academic

The last of the mullet.

"See you there at seven. And the dress code is business noir."

'Don Francesco, scusi... But while we were burying Luigi, some joggers ran into us... So we had to bury five corpses altogether...'

"Now, see here, I've been wronged! Some no-good do-nothing rat pack got me sick, and I gotta know who!"

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

"Damn it, Flopsy, you've cost me another bust."

"Remember how big and clunky the first ones were?"

'Look at him, Tom. He is so obsessed with that silly cell phone that now he wants to be called Blackberry Finn.'