Noddy Fan T-Shirts

'Why you called Mr. Plod?'

The Running of the Brie

"Now that we're into spring, we want to warn you that spring fever can be contagious..."

'But Honey, if we have kids, we won't be endangered anymore: We will lose all the social benefits and attention...'

"The meeting was canceled after an outbreak of contagious yawning!"

The Dandy

Pampered Pets.

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"I just love these casual fridays."

'Don't tell me - you've come as a newsreader?'

Meet Thy Doom

Old man imagines his younger self dancing with a cane.

"Madonna's out early this morning."

'Oh, don't even think about living life vicariously through me!'

Butterfly Bow-tie.

Bob Dylan wins Nobel Prize for Literature

'If you've got a problem with the way I run things around here, take it up with my nanny.'

Deep intellectual thoughts, but not enough common sense to keep from falling off a wall

Gastro Gnomes

What a night. I slept like a baby. I thought you had insomnia. My doctor gave me Slumberesta, the new sleeping pill. That stuff really works? Puts your right down. Even for an unsuspecting old lady jacked up on caffeine. Huh? Zzz. I must be really boring.

'Oh, oh - it's tomorrow.'

Wordilly Durdillies - Woody Alien

Late at night, the supermarket gnomes emerge and mess up one wheel on every cart.

"Right or wrong he just bugs the shit out of me."

'Be sexy! Wear a tie'

The Corner Shop.

Lost Rasputin: He is a cat that really is gone.

Dyslexic Pandas

"I'm in hiding: I slobbered all over his "good pants" this morning at breakfast. Now, he's back upstairs changing, and running late for his big meeting..."

"Well it sounds like racial profiling to me, Buddy, but if you must know...I'm black, white and Asian."

Almonds, pecans, pistachios, cashews

Santa takes the lift to the roof.

Just Abducted.

"OMG! Helen. . . I hardly recognized you without makeup."

"Yep, that's right, my life sucks: My mum says I can't have ice-cream, cakes, sweets or chocolate, just bamboo..."