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'Of course, times have changed. The Earl and Countess now live in that folly!'

Fishing Tales

Audio Books

"That's her - that's the girl who broke into our house! But her hair was 'goldier'."

"How was I supposed to know that the apple was a controlled substance?"

'Dad's bedtime story was decent, but the special effects were non-existent.'

Ant story: 'and so they worked all day and they worked all night and then they worked some more, the end.'

The Tale of the Tape of the Tail.

A Witch Consults Her Magic Mirror

"Well did he?"

"I'm sad to hear everybody lived happily ever after. That means no sequels to this story."

"That's right kiddo, I'm one of the original band members of the Musicians of Bremen..."

Paul Bunyan gets the leg-lengthening Operation

"Sorry Darling, you are fabulous, but I'm searching for MY Prince too!"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

"Tell us again about the humpback of Notre dame."

"Sorry kids, wrong house. This one is made of vegetables."

"Goodness! These tomatoes look so good!"

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

'Hello room service - can you come and tuck me in and read me a story please'

"Come in, minion."

Men discussing a book on a chat show

Triumphant mouse posing like Perseus holding aloft Medusa's head.

"Yes, I was using my mobile whilst driving... I was calling the police to tell them I was chasing a gang of bank robbers!"

'All this is nuthin! There was one yeaw up noth...when it snowed fah two yeaws! I had t'dig down ten feet t'haul in my lobstah traps.'

"At long last, Wyatt, our dream has come true and we are within reach of the legendary toast fields of the Sierra Madre."

Proceedings of the club

"It's post-gingerbread."

"So it was a performance enhancing drug."

A Salmon Lie

Meet the pop-up author.

"Pecos Bildungsroman"

Captain Eddie's New Boat:'The insurance company laughed last year when I insisted on adding Kraken coverage.'

"'Moby-Dick'? Again?"

'Sure you always catch bigger fish than me. Your arms are a foot longer than mine.'