Noble Flair Lover Pillows

Unknown

"Finches, don't look now, but there's a creepy guy staring at our beaks."

Bad hair day!

"I'm spending more time promoting myself than I am being myself."

Cambridge dons eat a banquet outside to prove they only get one chicken each.

Coffee Menu

Why giraffes hate winter

"Perhaps a cozy scarf to go with the hat?"

Hot food cafe open every day except Christmas Day.

'Careful, this used to be hot.'

Waiter thinks drowning man is asking for 5 beers

"We don't have knock-knock jokes on Christmas."

Lunch

"Everything I do I do with panache. I even say panache with panache."

"Let's see, now, that's cappuccino, cappuccino, cappuccino, and cappuccino—right?"

'A sandwich?'

I didn't dress this way to go unnoticed

'You'll grow into it!'

How much for a blueberry scone? $3.25. I'll give you $1.20. Huh? $1.40. $1.45. It's not negotiable. Shrewd. $1.65. $2.00. $2.10. $2.25, but I want free shipping! Ebay addicts. $3 for your sandwich. $6.

"That banquet was most delicious, and yet now, somehow, once again I feel the pang of hunger.'

Outdoor Dining: Winter Edition

'Dulcifying araneids didn't make them any more sapid.'

"The post-touchdown celebrations are getting out of hand."

Royal Picnic

'This looks like the work of a surreal killer.'

'I used to have serfs, but I've found that free-range peasants are more efficient.'

'Touching.'

Wall St. Café, Happy Hour 24-7.

Accordionist at work and in cafe.

'Lately I've been feeling the lure of the stage.'

God save the Queen.

Everybody tells me to 'get lost' - except for the Inland Revenue.

"Omigod- that's your dirty little secret? That you have a trust fund?"

"It's the price we pay for living an alternative lifestyle."

I'm thinking of suing your caf