Nobility Aficionados Gifts

"I'm feeling frisky Simkins - go and make love to one of the servant girls for me..."

"She wishes to range free!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

'I have libertarian impulses.'

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"He mistook jesting for heckling."

Royal Picnic

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'I found it on Craig's List.'

'That was your great-uncle Ludwig -- he was voted out of Europe.'

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."