Nobility Aficionados Gifts

"I'm feeling frisky Simkins - go and make love to one of the servant girls for me..."

"She wishes to range free!"

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

"With all due respect, Sire, the Pizza King sends his kindest regards."

King on the toilet whilst jester laughs because the toilet paper is out of reach.

'I'd think you'd be used to having a moat by now.'

"...We've traced your lineage all the way back to a 15th-century East European Count."

It started friendly enough...'I'm Henry VIII, my dear, but you may call me 'Hank'.'

'It's in my belly-button if you must know!'

"His Excellency the Lord Premier Gooboy."

'Oh - go get yourself a porsche.'

"I should cover your ears.I'm not very good at this.'

The Royal Wii.

'Could you scoot your chair over this way a little dear?'

"It's badly sprained, McElroy, and you know as well as I do that I'd only slow you down. Go on without me—and that's a direct order!"

'I know that you think you should be the President of this company, Your Majesty. But, you'll just have to work your way up, like I did!'

'Under blood type, sir, could you be a little more specific than blue?'

'I'll have your head on a platter.'

'Your Majesty, the peasants are out of bread!', 'Then let them eat low-carb stuff.'

'I may not know much about art. But, I don't know what I like either.'

"As for the meaning of life, it doesn't have to suck."

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

'Well, you DID know this job was dangerous when you took it.'

"Another helping of pretentiousness, anyone?"

"The kids - Prince Englebert and Princess Felicia - would like us to move into the olde monarchs' home."

Servant Painting Targets Around Arrows Shot by a King

"One trip to the dentist and look who's got the attitude!"

'I invested in a completely new economic system for the country, but the instructions are in japanese.'

"He mistook jesting for heckling."

'I have libertarian impulses.'

"My wife isn't speaking to me."

'Look, that peasant is eating something -- the economy's on the move again!'

Queen to daughter about puppy: 'You won't either name her 'Queenie'!'

'That was your great-uncle Ludwig -- he was voted out of Europe.'

'I found it on Craig's List.'