Nickel Spenders Pillows

'Uh, Molly...Who's your little friend?'

'Going...Going...Gone! Sold to the lady with more money than sense.'

'I can't give you a raise, a promotion or a bigger office, but I AM going to allow you to have a personality.'

"I need to increase my salary so I can increase my spending."

This is Dr. Sadie, what's your question, caller? I just found out my wife got a bonus at work. But instead of buying gifts for my mother and my six brothers, she flew to Maui and sent me a photo of herself eating a seven-course meal. Stop whining. She's given you the best gift a spouse can give ... Something to hold over her head for the rest of your lives. Well ... There is that, I guess.

'Oh that's weird! i just had a shiver go down my wallet. My wife must have just bought something.'

'It's amazing! I'm a magician! I can make a weekly wage disappear in four hours!'

'Would you like your dividend in pennies, nickels or bitcoin?'

'That's the first nickel I took in!'

'Sorry - I only donate big.'

'Turn we women loose in the malls - that'll stimulate the economy.'

'Some people say they're ego-compensation, but what do they know.'

'You're talking three million, ballpark

"Well, maybe money can't buy happiness, but I'm willing to try."

"I got a bonus for the first time in years. Would it be selfish to spend it on myself instead of on Christmas gifts?"

'I do know the value of a dollar... that's why I've asked for five...'

'In life I was scorned for worshipping the Almighty Dollar.'

'I think we should put a limit on how much we spend on each other at Christmas, like two hundred and twenty thousand pounds.'

"Classic ballcap $79.95. White, black, red or blue. Adjustable. One size fits all."

'I think it's time to stop shopping when the computer asks you if you need another shopping cart.'

Pushy Cashpoint

Credit card debt.

'Still glad you sprung for the 84-inch flat panel?'

"Trick or Treat - sorry, cash only."

When government depends on state lottery: Playing the lottery is lots of fun and a great investment plan!

'Could I return these scratch cards, I've only used them once!'

"Dear, your boss just called to tell you there was a slight mistake in your paycheck."

'I've joined the 'Cheque-book-of-the-Month Club!'

'Rumor is, the stock is going to be upgraded from 'super' to 'super duper'.'

The True Meaning of Christmas

'The Insurance money finally came today!'

Expense Culture Advice.

Opinion Poll. Gentlemen, I'm taking a consumer confidence poll ... Confident? I'll say! If there's one thing I'm confident of it's my ability to consume!

Some airlines are charging for coffee and water. Brilliant efficiency, but also a threat. To us? We're a caf

angel: 'My old regret is, I didn't go now, pay later.'