Nhs Chief Gifts

Frank Hester

'Is there another doctor in the house? He wants a second opinion.'

'I'm afraid we're going to have to let you go, Richter. The crime rate has dropped.'

Toxic Waste Lorry/Toxic Additives Lorry

'Well, we're off for our xmas break - I'm sure you can manage without us for a couple of weeks.'

Locum GP's to be paid for extra work on the BMA agreement

Agreeable Noises

New Ebola deaths in Sierra Leone

Annexe 8

Consortia set to take over

Heathrow New Variants Arrivals Lounge

"Care home deaths are collateral damage, as we continue to smoke screen statistics and fire off as many war analogy's as we can muster: in our battle, war, and heroic bun fight against Corvid-19 - in this, our not so finest hour!"

'The NHS believes in a carrot and stick approach to motivation...'

At the CEO Store: 'Third Floor: Loopholes, Scapegoats, Acccounting Irregularities.'

'Without management consultants how is the NHS meant to instigate forward facing paradigm shifts in it's client nourishment product and policy integration strategisation?

'I mean, how totally lame is this? Just as the marketing for our new video game was about to go viral, the Center for Disease Control shut us down!'

"We'd like you to be at breaking point seven days a week."

'She's responsible for the smoking ban.'

"It varies, but offhand I'd say around 750 'bang-bangs' equal one 'boom'."

"And WHATEVER you do DON'T FALL DOWN THE STEPS or put your finger in the ELECTRICITY socket."

"Ever have an Out-Of-Body Cam experience?"

Santa Health and Safety

A woman sits in an office of the Food and Drug Administration in - out boxes marked MMMM Good and Oh - Bad.

'It's the new managements policy on how we persecute whistleblowers.'

'When they say EVERY possible risk needs a sign I don't think they meant you!'

'Crisis? What crisis?' asks DoH Minster.

'Your GP recommended Lovaza...but I thought we'd try a dose of meaningless platitudes followed by a course of unfulfilled promises.'

'Would you mind if I made a few calls while I carefully listen to your ideas?'

'We agreed that your contract was too complicated so we redrafted it to cover your new responsibilities.'

'I think we're telling them more than we have to.'

NHS England: PCNs should create 'highly flexible' salaried roles for locum GPs."

"THe vice president here is now in charge of the efforts to control the coronavirus. . "