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Misery/Torment/N.Y. Football

"Sweetie, I know we missed Princesses on Ice, but I'm going to make it up to you."

"Bias? Nonsense. How can you say the refs are biased?"

I like the Jets...I guess

"Unfortunately, once the child contracts Pokémon, he lives with it forever."

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Tennis fans queuing at Wimbledon.

'The following program is intended for beer bellied, sports crazed, couch potatoes!'

'They were hoping to gradually introduce him to the pro game, but injuries left them no choice.'

Missing Persons...'I'm not sure when she disappeared - sometime during the football season.'

Go team!

Golfer Shouts at Ball to Go Into Hole.

Radar Gun Readings at Baseball Stadium

'Will you lot come out! - the new kit's not that bad!'

"He tested positive for a new fever ... TB12."

"The Bruins are down a goal. Do me a favor: Pretend you’re a Boston terrier."

Check your universal remote control at the door.

'Did you want to bring on a sub'

"Harry Potter and the People Who Care Way Too Much About Harry Potter"

"Ok, Ok! The ball wasn't out!"

Ball as water-melon.

Cricket Accidents.

'What are we, wimps? Are we gonna let a bunch of rabbits push us all over the field? Come on, big guys.'

'We're looking for athletic people.'

Hockey Season.

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

Science fiction fans on other planets

Bases loaded, no outs. And coach once again turns to his trusty golden reliever.

'Let's give it five more minutes. If they haven't eased up on the lasers by then, we'll have to postpone the game.'

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Me? Dislocated thumb from switching channels to catch all the Olympic events. . .'

Currently Boston

"Now that you've won the Super Bowl what will you do next?"