Newtonian Toy Enthusiast T-Shirts

Executive golf with Newton's cradle

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

'Sometimes I worry that I basically wasted my 2's.'

Director/Action Man toy.

Build your very own conflict of interest!

"That'll be five bucks."

The Rubber Ball Company

"Just because I can deliver toys around the world in one night, doesn't mean I understand the tax code."

Rocking Horse

"Bleeeee! It's plastic."

"Werewolves of London..."

Toy plane with pilot eject.

Toy Shops and Educated Children

"It's his emotional support animal."

Perks Featured in Vacancy at Toy Company

"So, do you want balls that only go up, or ones that only go down?"

"Where the hell's my Slinky?"

"Of course I'm bored - my batteries are flat!"

Childlike love

One!

"Relax, Ferguson, I'll have it with you by end of play."

"If we play house, Timmy, we can't live with my parents because..."

"Graduation day at kite flying school."

Jack in the box on strike.

What can I play?

"Guess who figured how to call 911!"

Toys

Remote Control Duck

Inaction Figure

Help me!

"Mom! Dad! Do something!"

Typical bored kid of the New Millennium

"But I've seen a million wind-up monkeys. Wait! Did you say it bangs on a snare drum?"

'...and, of course you get a company car.'

'I don't care if they are cheaper...we're not using them!'