Newspaper Ninja T-Shirts

"Show us again that crazy way you fold a newspaper to read on the subway!"

"Chocolate? I can't be allergic to chocolate! I'm a kid, can't you say I'm allergic to spinach or broccoli?"

Domestic Superheroes!!

"Bah, I could've written a better dénouement in my sleep."

'I've learned a lot about myself at these meetings...like, I can fall asleep with my eyes open!'

'No! Forging a note from your parents does not count as creative writing!'

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Piano Keyboard

"We value your input, but all your suggestions involve more play-time, naps and treats."

Fear of news.

Best Seller

Freedom of the press

'Race you to the nearest lap?'

'Apparently it's part of the evolutionary process!'

With Grandpa it was often a game of hide and sleep.

"The air bag sensed he was going to sleep. I love technology."

Book Thief in True Crime Department

The Communicator

When Fred's super deluxe leaf blower blew up yet again, he wondered where global deforestation is when you want it,

'Hey look I got a free newspaper with my wallchart of north sea molluscs aand DVD of elbow stretching excercises.'

Fenton always makes a backup hard copy of his mental notes.

"I don't care if we did hibernate all Winter, I'm still tired."

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

'Memorable miracles' from 'burning bush' to 'low cal ice cream'

Flute-a-licious.

"Better than Chekhov"

'I'm suing for libel! You've down graded me from being a reliable source to being just a confidential source.'

man in suit carries pile of books with sticky notes

Be the grass...

"Your book is a masterpiece, but, unfortunately, we're rather picky."

"We're looking for fresh, exciting, independent voices which are very similar to those of our existing bestsellers."

"I thought it would be difficult to paper train a dog, but Spot made a remarkable adjustment!"

Pandora's Inbox

'Why can't you have inner demons like everyone else?'

'There you are - you know you're not supposed to be eating that!'