Newspaper Collection Pillows

"Say, here's something interesting, your old boyfriend is in the paper. . . in the obituaries!"

'That was fun!'

No Parking - Scandal or No Scandal

The Working Woman's Magazine

'I think I'll stay in and try to catch up on my reading.'

'I don't know what he gets up to in there, but it keeps him busy.' (Noises are recorded, man reads paper, has beer.)

"The car is in the garage, but I had to drive over the lawnmower."

Reading the sports pages.

"It's me. I'm calling in sick of it."

Why would birdie need newspaper?

Rhinoceros Is Most Intelligent Ungulate

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

'Scientists say that crosswords activate brain...'

'You're supposed to bring the newspaper to ME!'

"Well, I think we come back as newspapers." "You're nuts."

"I've seen a tulip before."

Waiting Room Quarterly

Cleaner dusting under man's toupee.

"I've been having stomach problems. I sit on the bathroom for 30 minutes in the morning...and a half-hour in the evening."

'Let me at it! Let me see!!'

Alien Beauty Magazine

Dog bringing paper and paper boy.

Prayboy

Bird in a chair with a human in a cage.

'He's great, he can even fetch the paper. Off the neighbour's step.'

'No, I am not finished with the comics section, now give me back my glasses!'

"Just when I think things couldn’t get any worse, they replace The Lockhorns with Doonesbury!"

"How awful! - was he a band, or an orchestra conductor?"

On the cover of Sports Illustrated - Envy

"This is the way I like it - I pretend to be asleep and he doesn't bother me."

"It's finally happened. This magazine has more subscription cards than pages!"

Paper Boy

"Percy Shattock, Page Three Girls...1979 to 1986."