News Whisperer Gifts

These remarks are completely off the record

'Human Error .. Yet Again.'

"Well, at least we know she died peacefully."

"The robots have become self-aware and self-loathing. Now all they do is write novels."

"What's important is that we learn from what we must never admit happened."

Have you tried turning it off and on again?

'Can you loan me *** till pay day?'

"He's from IT. All I did was tell him I thought he was doing a great job... and he fainted in shock!"

Two computers are having a conversation, but stop when their owner enters the room.

'Interactive TV news.'

'Tell me more about your programmer.'

'Decoding is often 1, 14, 20, 9, 3, 12, 9, 13, 1, 3, 20, 9, 3.'

'The computer can talk to terminals all over the country. Bentley thinks it's talking about him.'

'I've worked out that all you need for a summer blockbuster is...'

Computer whisperer.

we wanted to get rid of all the 'superbugs' but they were the only one's who understood the new it system

WWW.World.com

'...if he only knew what I wrote about him on my blog.'

You will do as I command...'It had a power surge.'

The fax machine had stopped and they did not know why.

Happiness is a warm warm iPad.

"Sorry, honey, I can't talk now. I'm in the midst of some very intense negotiations with Bill Gates on the electronic rights to you and the kids."

'Sometimes, when I'm feeling unappreciated, I'll fake a system-wide data crash.'

'Noise? When you've been married as long as I have, it goes in one ear and out the other.'

Information might travel at the speed of light, but the news still travels at the speed of sound bites.

Rudy, you bought me a high-definition camcorder. You shouldn't have. Is that you shouldn't have as in: It's just too thoughtful? Or, simply: You shouldn't have 'cause this gift stinks? I'm really blown away. Clarify!

'Psst - my wife works part time for the IRS!'

"Keep your shirt on. I'll read your book as soon as I'm done reading the monster his book."

Office full of computers and wires.

Advertising Agency - "Phew! Fooling some of the people all the time is hard work."

'It's been telling you to blood-let a pint a day? When's the last time you updated that medical app?'

'I and my Blog'

"Mum, you've put it on mute with sub-titles!"

"I'm afraid you've got a bad case of gobbledeegook!"

Your IQ is 176, Peel. - 'Is that high?' - 'That's higher than Stephen Hawking.' - 'Wow!' - 'Maybe you'll be a great physicist one day.' - 'Will I shrivel, too?' -