News Watchers Pillows

Trump Trials 2024

'In the event of a new Gulf War, Letterman and Leno agreed to reduce their arsenal of middle eastern jokes and stockpile them for possible use later...'

Some good economic news...The U.S. is creating more jobs, since most workers need a second job to get by.'

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Away with the warmonger!"

'Mighty strange weather tonight, followed by downright weird tomorrow....'

'Today the stock market was moribund, as growth equities sputtered and bonds dipped due to the inverted yield curve. I'd translate that into layman's terms...but they don't pay me enough.'

How a Bill Becomes a Law, 2023

"Analysts warn that computerization of the villages won't give the expected results!"

U.S. Foreign Policy

"We'd better stock up on TV snacks in the event of war."

"I'm going to miss it when they stop warning us"

New Flavors at Where's the Scoop Ice Cream

Fear of news.

'The only cuts we can all agree with are their cutting remarks!'

US election postal vote controversy

"We have been elected to the UN Commission on Women's Rights!"

"I know he's funny, boy, but he’s also the president of the United States."

Donald Trump Tells a Joke...

"Our next story should interest all our viewers...it's a real can of worms."

Classic News.

Trouble everywhere...

Best Seller in Washington D.C.: Politics for dummies

"Ok, ok, climate change is not a hoax!"

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

Eurobonds Explained.

Covid Lab Theory

The North Portico of the White House runs away crying.

Invade/Fail/Deny

'Mark my words! Our enemies will test this young guy with a huge international crisis as soon as he's electe! But don't worry, he'll be fine!', 'Come here, Joe -- let me give you a nice fist bump!'

"I find wearing a mask helps."

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

'Stocks rose on news that '90% of success is just being there.''

"I have to admit Dick Cheney makes a strong argument for torture. But I still think torturing him would be wrong."

Militant Pacifists