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I'll Let You Know When It's a Real Crisis

'I have bad news and good news...'

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

'Let's go to our education reporter for more underreporting of school success stories.'

UK border controls relaxed.

"I can't decide what I fear the most, Putin's Russia or Putin's America."

'Greek debt was downgraded for the 11th time this week, by S&P, to P.O.S. Negative Infinity, meaning it's safer to eat uranium, than own Greek debt.'

"You do realize his ‘nose so bright’ is going to attract a horde of Defense Department drones."

Meet the Enemy

News Internecine: Murdoch succession battle

Apart from protest footage I forget what downtown looks like.

There's a crew here from 60 minutes and they're coming this way.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

Weatherman: "Tonight's weather forecast is confusing, followed tomorrow by downright bewildering."

"Er...nothing much has happened yet today...."

Trump Destroying U.S. the Postal Service

Idlib, Syria - The final stage

"Hang in there everyone—we promise a cute animal story at the end."

Capital Tours

Reporter #6: television.

'Bad news on Wall Street. The entire stock market has been downgraded to a 'junk' classification.'

'You've been killing files again.'

Big Newspaper Delivery

As you can see, media coverage at this event is very heavy...

Classic News.

Remember . . . If at first you do succeed, make sequels!'

Charades

The Russians Are Coming...Maybe

'According to the latest poll, 64% of the public don't pay any attention to polls...'

'And in local news: Someone is hiding behind the drapes.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

"So how much money do you make?"

There Is An Alternative Universe In Which Donald Trump Cares About Us And We Care About Stuff That Matters

Trump's Torrent of BS Is Distracting Us From Real, Actually Important, Issues