Newlywed Humor T-Shirts

I know I've got a key somewhere!!

"Bad news...I took all of your wedding pictures on one of those snap apps that erases them after ten seconds."

'But I've had a tiring day myself, darling!'

'Never mind singing it in rap... a simple 'I do' will suffice.'

The Canine's version of cans tied to the back of a wedding car driving off with Cats attached

'You may now kick the bride.'

"So, what you're telling me is: I have unusually high negatives for a third-year husband..."

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

Bride is angry, as she notices that the groom figure on the cake is drunk.

"Yes, I've made three resolutions - not to drink less, not to stop watching football on telly and not to spend more time at your mother's."

'Great sermon, Reverend! Too bad my husband couldn't stay awake to hear it.'

"Let's take in a trial."

"You know you're getting old when you need a hearing aid to hear your bones creak."

'And do you, Leslie Farnsworth promise to stop wearing camouflage so that your wife will know where you are?'

'I do wish you'd use the study when you work from home.'

'This always seems to happen on your night to cook.'

"That's O.K., I'll go—'m dressed."

'My interest in gardening backfired when I married a couch potato.'

"We've only been married three years and she's already giving me gbh of the ear 'oles."

'Cheers, it's worth the domestic hassle.'

"You're lucky your garden failed. If I'd had to can it, it would've been your marriage."

'May I leave early today, Sir? The market is down and my wife is alone...'

'Camilla, I don't mind you writing your own vows but you can't start 'Now Diana is dead...''

'How was I to know that you don't like Marzipan?'

"I said I was sorry. No need to bite my head off!"

'And you, William Elwood Hoonavogel, are you willing to give up your free range status?'

'I should warn you -- I don't have any tattoos.'

"Tell me, have you ever been in a church prior to getting married?"

'They're like ice! You're like a giant vampire bat sucking the warmth out of me!'

"....And are you willing to stand your mothers-in-laws' bleating until the divorce court do you apart?"

"I knew they had shot gun weddings in the wild west, but not in Milton Keynes!"

''Love, honor, and obey'? -- I had something less structured in mind.'

'This is my new husband Gregory -- I don't quite have all the bugs out of him yet.'

'I should have listened to my mother. . . when she said you were immature.'

"Do you know how distracting it is when you spin the chamber on that revolver?"