Newly Promoted Employee T-Shirts

"You fed me tuna and cleaned my litter box, Harris, and I'm not going to forget it."

"You've got your corner office, so what more do you want?"

'I hope you're not threatened by powerful women, because you're fired.'

'I'll be late for dinner, dear. I'm up to my neck in paperwork.'

'Let's not go by the book.'

'You could be a constant inspiration for us to come up with a plan to get a leg up on our competition...you're hired!'

'Finally! A meeting with one of the bigwigs.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

In basket-case.

In the future, human thought will enter an age of clarity and purity never before dreamed of.

So which rung are you on my corporate ladder?

"It's clear to me that you want to go far with this company."

Others will fight for you

A fight in the Boardroom.

'I'll make my final decision on that promotion of yours, after this game.'

"Why can't the rest of you be more like Rollins, here? He does his homework!"

Businessman on stilts: 'I had to step over a lot of people to get where I am today.'

'Don't think of it as being a yes man, think of it as being an employed man.'

Reach for the Star.

"Helen brings home our second, third and fourth incomes."

Business books - Who's Who & Who's Downsized sections.

Things-to-do-today: Daily workboxes piled up on desk.

'Well, now that I know he's the owner's son, yes, he's the best damned wine steward I've ever seen.'

"So, tell me a little bit more about this house training you mention on your CV."

The MBA Draft

"I don't care if you are the Immediate Gratification Generation. Get out of my chair and back to the mailroom."

'I like the way you handle responsibility, McWit, so I'm going to blame some stuff on you.'

Areas of the Body Where Stress Can Manifest

"Hey, you stick your neck out on a regular basis, it's gonna happen. The important thing is to just get up and keep moving forward."

'Take a few days off. Suck some necks ...'

'Ah, Galagher, we made good use of your proposal.'

"We're a very small international conglomerate."

'I clawed my way to the top and then I clawed my way back to the middle.'

"Well the good news is that after the reorganisation you'll be leading the team."

'Mr. Dawson, about when I said 'don't pull any punches'...'